Post Solo Camping Adventure Or Duh!

The sky above the spot you stand changes all day long.  The things around the spot you stand change all day long.  So why are we looking at our phones – again?  I knew this but I did not consciously realize this.  I just got back from a camping trip alone – Wednesday through Sunday – at campgrounds in a New Jersey state park.  I decided to write here about facebook and celluliar devices not because it was what consumed my thoughts on this trip, but it is the one thing that a great majority of people have brought up while we talked about the time I spent alone.  And the fact of the matter is, there is no denying my ability to relax and open my mind some, did not come from the very limited (one battery charge for 5 full days) use of my iPhone.

There is a new kind of anxiety in our personal lives that our parents do not know (or perhaps are just becoming aquainted with) and our grandparents surely do not know.  These anxieties stem from the relationships we allow ourselves to things like Smartphones; Facebook; Text Messages.

A quick hypothesis as to why such an instant form of communication between individuals in their respective locations has become the norm:  In 2002 Blackberry introduced the first smartphone with wireless e-mail capabilities.  Memories of men in business suits riding the Long Island Railroad come to mind.  These devices gave people the capability to conduct work more instantaneously and soon it became expected that work related communication would be addressed more frequently and rapidly.  Once my employer is aware of the fact that I use a computer at home (or assumes such), it falls on me to respond quickly.  If I do not, I am neglectful, lackadaisical or simply careless.  Back in October when I started working as an assistant editor, my first dip into the ocean of work outside of the service industry or artist assisting, I would miss information or come unprepared if I had not checked my e-mail the night before.  I saw for the first time that there is a world that does not even bother to make phone calls anymore – a world that is in front of a computer or working late into the night.  I mean, why would one pick up a phone?  Well, I soon learned.  And now that I work in a restaurant, granted I have taken on more responsibility, I receive text messages while vacationing about things that could be communicated upon return without any time or money lost.  So these smartphones and these ways of communicating, have been introduced into our culture on a work basis, but now if we are always using these machines, of course the people in our lives outside of work know.  Of course I know that you will be receiving my text message in the next 5 minutes or so.  So this brings us to the anxieties.

Anxiety #1: Text messages.  A real, physical form of anxiety now comes from a place of desiring and/or expecting immediate responses from people in our lives.  Text sent.  Twenty minutes pass and naturally they are driving, conversing, on the train or taking a nap (work now barely excuses a lapse in response).  An hour goes by and still nothing.  It’s been thr-four whole hours now and what the fuck?  You start to wonder if something is up.  Are you in trouble?  Does this person not want to talk to you as much as you want to talk to them?  Is this reflective of the balance of care in the friendship/relationship?  Or are they okay?  Did they get robbed?  Did they get into a car accident?  Are they in an ambulance somewhere or just straight up having the worst day and they just can’t respond?  Then, strangely, you go back to hoping they are just ignoring you for the sake of their own well-being.  They just must have never received it.  An unanswered text can cause loss of sleep.  I do though, think text messages can be great.  There is a reason we don’t call as often as we text: because sometimes it is nice to let someone know you are thinking of them, share a passing moment in a day or carry on witty conversation.  But how do you draw the line when it comes time to communicate more important things?  It is difficult if both parties are not on board to do such and even when they usually are, it’s a trap many have been known to fall into.

Anxiety #2:  Oh, The Facebook.  You have a free moment.  You are procrastinating.  You have no new e-mails, you’ve read all the articles that interest you on your news site of choice, but someone is always updating their status, commenting on yours or someone out there that you do not know personally is, without a doubt, commenting on someone-you-do-know’s latest post.  It becomes habitual.  You need a break, you can no longer work and you type those magic letters into your browser.  A time filler in a life where we can’t seem to find enough time.  I work in a coffee shop setting and I cannot tell you the variety of individuals who ‘work’ where I work that have there screens full of Facebook; Documentarians, Journalists, Accountants, Actors, Students, Writers, Environmentalists, Contractors, Activists, Painters, Lawyers, Teachers, Business owners, the Barista behind the counter waiting for her next customer, and the list goes on.  The presence of Facebook alone seems to contaminate moments where we used to contemplate, remember or daydream.  And beyond the over use of Facebook we have the activities that take place.  There are many good, beneficial ways to use such a platform.  One can share information they find interesting, music they find touching or moving frames full of humor and happiness.  But we also fall into negative uses: I have known many to Facebook stalk.  Sometimes the people I least expect crumble at the temptation to do so.  Why do we read someone’s entire wall down to who ‘likes’ a status that was posted for less than three hours one month ago?  Why do we continue to hit ‘older posts’?  It’s always to learn something about the person.  If it’s a person we find interest in, we like to see the things they have had to say.  We like to see photographs of them and wonder if we might find their friends as interesting.  Sometimes if we are lucky, their friends’ walls and photos are public and sometimes we will even recognize a person in their photos from an entirely different social circle or state.  We want to see the places these people have been and how they respond to them.  These are all positive impulses, but the fact is, stories and thoughts shared by individuals one on one are just as touching and rewarding, if not more (I vote more!), so why are we going about our interactions as we are?  And sometimes this endless searching into one’s ‘history’ can become dangerous.  Let me take it back to the MySpace days:  If I were to look at the page of someone I was dating, things would immediately take on an investigative undertone the minute something caught my eye that left me feeling uneasy.  Whether it be a post from someone who was feeling similarly towards the person at the time of posting as I was feeling towards them now.  Or if the date of a comment did not quite match up to what I had perceived as the actual time line of events.  Depending on how far back someone’s wall dates, you can figure out the people they have dated – when they started and when they stopped.  You can see when they were doing okay and when things were less than perfect.  You read into posts made then or made more recently by someone ‘suspicious’ (according to your very brief and hole-filled investigation).  It becomes easy to start reading into things that need not be read into and although we may share too much of our personal lives on these types of sites, there is still not enough to get the picture in its entirety.  Doubt begins to form where it need not.  The fact of the matter is, I realize there are certain details we do not need to know about each other and made the decision to stop looking at people’s walls almost entirely.  Although I am glad to sustain such resistance in this respect, I am guilty of irresponsible Facebook usage.  When I feel down; when I have no desire to maintain an active social life, Facebook gives me a false feeling of satisfaction.  Or is it false?  It’s sort of like a, “Hey guys I am here!  I am not here here.  But I am thinking and thinking about you and will be back sometime!”

Regardless of how we may use our cell phones, iPhones, computers and such, I think we need be weary.  Even those of us with the best heads on our shoulders may be falling and not even realizing it.  I am not quite sure how to combat; how to set lines.  I am not claiming or desiring to become some kind of Luddite, but it might be a good idea to just ease up – even slightly.  I know 5 days without work will do wonders, but 5 days without the ability to constantly check on communication really opened my eyes to what I have been missing and I never thought of myself as one who would lose touch with such a thing.  Oh goodness, what have I gotten myself into?  There is a lot more to be said but I am tired.   I must get out of here now.

If you want an interesting read check it: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/16/technology/16brain.html?scp=3&sq=scientists%20%22into%20the%20wild%22&st=cse

I don’t think these things are Horrible, I just think it is very easy to use them in bad ways and I get the feeling a lot of us might be.  So maybe we should look at the sky!!!!!!!!:

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